Thanksgiving and Some Announcements

Hello folks,

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone who celebrates Thanksgiving has a wonderful day full of food, friends, family, and fun. (This post is brought to you by the letter ‘F.’) I’m having lunch with my family and dinner with friends, and I’m just looking forward to the day.

And now the announcements. A few weeks ago I posted that I had a story published. (YAY!) That story went on to win the editor’s choice award for this month at Fiction Vortex. (YAY!) I’m over the moon, and I hope everyone who read the story enjoyed it.

Which brings me to announcement part two. I am also in the running for reader’s choice for the month of November. So if you did in fact read To Forever and enjoy it, I would appreciate your vote.

Here’s the link to the poll

Voting closes on December 2. If you do choose to vote for me, I want to give you a thousand thanks. After all, that is what today is all about, and it means the world to me when people read and like my work.

Anyway, I think that’s about it. I’m still writing, and I’m looking forward to a great holiday season.

Again, Happy Thanksgiving!

-Mary
On Twitter @desantismt

Good News! (No, the wicked witch is not dead.)

We interrupt this blog hiatus to bring you a special news bulletin.

Today is a good day. It’s a published short story day!

Yes, my fantasy short story, To Forever – approx. 2300 words, is live at Fiction Vortex today. I’m super excited!

Yes, that excited!

Anyway, this is the part where I wave and bow and say “go read it. It’s good. I promise.” Well, of course I think it’s good. I wrote it. Seriously, though, this is one of my favorite short stories I’ve ever written, and I’m so pumped to be able to share it with the world. Fiction Vortex blurbs it as a story about a young couple who thought they’d be together forever but with a new magical drink every year, they drift apart. Only, you know, they say it a lot better, and essentially, yes, that is the plot of To Forever. It’s about so much more. It’s about love and change and morality and addiction and how growth changes us for better or worse. It’s about fairies and unicorns and elves and vampires and zombies. Mostly, though, it’s about people. I’m big on writing about the condition of people. It’s a story that was inspired by a piece of art where I live, and after writing it, putting it away for a year, and revising it, it’s now on the internet, and that means the world to me.

So there you go. I got all author-y about my story. So now when this story is discovered by someone big in the industry and immortalized in an anthology of the best works of 2014 and goes down in history as a story that made people think, you can pass the contents of this post to your children’s children’s children, and they can quote me in their English class, and we can take our first steps toward really analyzing literature according to what the author meant instead of what we thought they meant.

Hey, I can dream, right?

And so this concludes this post (and this interruption from the blogging hiatus). I’m headed back into my cave now, but big things are afoot. I’m working hard and writing a lot and revising some, and I have 55k of a book that I (fingers crossed) should be pitching at the beginning of next year. So hopefully I’ll be back with more good news soon.

As always, thanks for reading.

-Mary
Find me on Twitter @desantismt.

Official Lockbox Blogging Hiatus

Hi folks,

Yes, it’s true. I’m taking a break. I had every intention of getting back on the personal blogging wagon, but it’s not the time. I need to focus on writing and some other stuff. Blogging at the Lockbox needs to take a back seat.

I will still be blogging about books over at Kit ‘N Kabookle, and if I get any kind of news, I’ll post it here. As for the Disney posts and any other stuff, I’m not sure when I’ll pick it back up, but you’ll be the first to know.

Take care.

Lots of love,
Mary

-Keep up with me on Twitter @desantismt.

MCS #24: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

IMDB blurb
A deformed bell-ringer must assert his independence from a vicious government minister in order to help his friend, a gypsy dancer.

I haven’t watched this in years. It kind of terrified me as a kid. I think I want to watch it again now. I think there’s a lot to get out of this as an adult. This isn’t a story of pure good. The good guys aren’t picture perfect heroes. And the villain, well, have a look.

The music is actually beautiful. The first part is heartbreaking/heartwarming. Then Frollo starts singing, and things get a little odd.

I saw this in theatres with my parents when I was a kid. To quote my mother “You could have heard a pin drop in that theatre. The kids were oblivious, and the parents were, like, ‘oh my…uh….’”

On the other hand, this guy is terrifying in a very real way.

K, now for an upper.

Love that song.

Writer’s Lockbox

Watch this if you haven’t since childhood.

That’s about all I have.

Last week: Hercules

And join me next week for The Hunchback of Notre Dame II.

-Find me on Twitter @desantismt.

MCS #23: Hercules

Hercules (1997)

IMDB blurb
The son of the Greek Gods Zeus and Hera is stripped of his immortality as an infant and must become a true hero in order to reclaim it.

Now that that’s out of the way.

K, I’m done. Really.

If you can’t tell, I love this movie. Meg is kickass. Pain and Panic are hilarious, and Hades is possibly one of my favorite Disney villains ever. I mean really.

See what I mean? Also, mushroom cloud. Enough said.

“Somebody call IXII!”

That’s 911 in Roman Numerals. I was so pumped the day I figured that out, and my friend was pumped the day I told her.

“The Big Olive itself.”

Here’s to New York puns.

Voices: Meg is voiced by Susan Egan who was Belle in Beauty and the Beast on Broadway and also the singing voice of Angel in Lady and the Tramp II. Phil is Danny DeVito, who also voiced the Lorax in the Lorax. He also played Matilda’s father in Matilda. Panic is voiced by Matt Frewer who, ready for this, voiced Jackal in Disney’s Gargoyles.

Bonus Round – The young heroes TV show. That’s all I need to say.

Writer’s Lockbox

Actually, to be completely serious for once, I offer this song.

It’s something all writers need to keep in mind. Last week, I forgot this, and I had zero productivity. We can go the distance. This is more important than any writing lesson I could have extracted from the movie. So listen to that again. Then listen to the movie reprise version, which is the theme song of my thesis because it involves a Pegasus flying off into the night sky.

Now go be awesome.

Last week: the Frozen guest post

And join me next week for The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

-Find me on Twitter @desantismt.

MCS #22: Frozen guest post

Frozen (2013)

Welcome to this week’s Morning Cartoons Saturday. For the first time (in forever), I’m hosting a guest. She’s here today to talk about Disney’s newest hit animated feature, Frozen. Please welcome Amarilys Acosta.

Five Frozen Quotes That Got Me Thinking

I’ve been a fan of Disney Princess movies since forever. Even now that I’m older, the last three that have come out—Tangled,Brave, and Frozen—have managed to strike a chord with me. I can still identify with many of the things these princesses go through and empathize with the story presented in the movies. So, below I want to share with you five of my favorite quotes from Frozen which I watched recently…and then re-watched the day after because it was that good.

1.

Grandpa Troll: Born with the powers or cursed?

This quote got me thinking that all of the princesses before have been cursed or affected by a curse. Ariel is cursed by Ursula to have no voice. Pocahontas isn’t cursed, but magic is still worked on her by Grandmother Willow so that she understands the words of the foreigners. Rapunzel’s magic hair is the reason Mother Gothel kidnaps her, so it’s sort of a curse. Merida puts her mother under a curse spell. And on and on the examples. Elsa is the first princess to be born with power of her own, and yet the way they handle it becomes her curse. But it was nice that Grandpa Troll made the distinction between the two states—born with power or cursed.

2.

Grandpa Troll: The heart is not so easily changed. But the head can be persuaded.

The old adage of follow your heart comes to mind. The heart knows the truth and it’s never confused about what it wants, but the mind…yeah, easily changed and confused 100% of the time!

3.

Kristoff: You know, most people who disappear into the mountains wanna be alone.

Anna: NOBODY wants to be alone.

TRUTH.
    

4.

We aren't saying you can change him

'Cause people don't really change

We're only saying that love's a force that's powerful and strange

People make bad choices if they're mad or scared or stressed

But throw a little love their way, and you'll bring out their best

True love brings out the best

I really loved that they included these lines in the song! Love is not about changing the person, but about sharing your love with them. And maybe your love and care will open them up and turn them into something better.

5.

Olaf: Love is putting someone else's needs before yours […] Some people are worth melting for.

How love should be always = Selfless.

Amy is a writer and lover of books, currently making her way through the MFA in Writing Popular Fiction at SHU. She writes YA paranormal romances, fantasy, and has been known to dabble in a sci-fi piece or two. She's a hopeless romantic, mint chocolate chip ice-cream worshiper, and a shameless procrastinator (If I'm reading when I should be writing is not procrastinating, is it? It's research…)

Blog / Facebook / Twitter / Pinterest / Amy's Book Den

MCS #21: Fantasia 2000

Fantasia 2000 (…1999…)

Video time.

Enjoy 

Last week: Fantasia

And join me next week for a guest post about Disney’s newest animated feature, Frozen.

Thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

Follow My Blog With Bloglovin

-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog

I'm back, and I look like Snape.

I officially graduated! I now have a masters degree in Writing Popular Fiction from Seton Hill University.

SHU, I will miss you, but I will be back for the alumni retreat, so I’ts okay.

Now for my thesis reading.

Going Away

Hey folks,

So as you may have deduced (after all my posts about my thesis being passed in and passing and me passing out), I’m graduating! I’ll be away next week at school, culminating with receiving my MFA on Sunday, June 29, sometime between 3:30 and 4pm. Feel free to clap in my honor during this time.

K, the clapping part is a joke, but the rest isn’t. Since I’ll be in class and doing all sorts of other fun stuff next week (like thesis reading, genre dinner, experimental agent-pitching, etc.) I won’t be posting. And then I’m treating myself to the first week in July away from the blog.

Yes, that’s right. I’ll be gone for two whole weeks. Now, I know you might want to cry, but try to refrain. I’ll be back the second week in July with more writing madness and animated movies.

Until then, watch Frozen (and the Lorax, which I saw for the first time last Friday), and have a great couple of weeks.

When next we meet, I will be a master…well, have a masters degree.

-Mary

MCS #20: Fantasia

Fantasia (1940)

Ok, so this movie bored me to tears when I was a kid. It was music and picture with no story or dialogue, and I was a kid.

Now, I appreciate it a bit more, and I’m sharing my two favorite Fantasia moments this week.

First: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

It was the closest to a story, and it featured Mickey Mouse.

Second (and possibly most importantly): The Sound Track

Come on, this guy was adorable. I think I can attribute my interest in musical instruments to this guy.

Check out the rest of the Fantasia shorts on YouTube. They’re all there.

Writer’s Lockbox…?

Umm, well plot.

Also, different types of music make for great soundtracks to different types of writing.

Last week: The Emperor’s New Groove

And join me next time for Fantasia 2000.

Thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

Follow My Blog With Bloglovin

-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog

MCS #19: Emperor's New Groove

Emperor’s New Groove (2000)

IMDB blurb
Emperor Kuzco is turned into a llama by his ex-administrator Yzma, and must now regain his throne with the help of Pacha, the gentle llama herder.

Unfortunately, I can’t post the entire movie here. Would if I could because this movie is hilarious. If you have not watched, go do. I know I say that about a lot of these, but I mean it for this one. Observe a teaser.

Now tell me you don’t want to see the rest of this movie?

Honestly, I love this movie because it isn’t about love at all. It’s about a spoiled emperor learning to be a better person and the peasant man who helps him along the journey. It’s also about the laughs and a llama.

That’s really it. I don’t have anything bad to say about this movie. It’s hilarious and heartwarming. It’s a guide on finding friendship. Just don’t try it at home.

Oh, also, Yzma = win! That is all.

Writer’s Lockbox

This movie is very historically inaccurate. While no one cares about that because it’s a kid’s movie, the world won’t be so forgiving for writers, especially ones of historical fiction. Make certain you are as historically accurate as your project requires.

Last week: Dumbo

And join me next week for Fantasia.

Thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

Follow My Blog With Bloglovin

-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog

Sharing. Broadway.

I’m sharing this week. The Tony Awards were this past Sunday, and I discovered a new musical—A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder. And because I’m just the sharing type, I’m going to let you all discover it, too.

That is just awesome.

Have a wonderful week, peeps!

-Mary

MCS #18 - Dumbo

Dumbo (1941)

IMDB Blurb
Ridiculed because of his enormous ears, a young circus elephant is assisted by a mouse to achieve his full potential.

K, I’m getting to this post the night before. It’s been a long week. So this will consist of some highly informative bullet points.

-Babies don’t come from storks.

-Don’t let your mean, if jealous, girlfriends name your kid.

-Don’t pull a baby elephant’s ears, especially if the mother is present.

-Don’t make a flying elephant dependent on a feather.

-Do be proud of your children when they do something awesome.

Writer’s Lockbox

Mute main characters are difficult. It’s doable, just difficult.

Thank you for your patience with this abbreviated post.

Join me next week for The Emperor’s New Groove

-Find me on Twitter @desantismt.

Writing about Death

I know, so cheery, right?

Cheery or not, it’s a topic a lot of fiction writers have to deal with. Characters die, and like with the characters who live (most often the protagonist and at least a few of his peeps), their deaths need to mean something/get the reader to respond emotionally.

In terms of recent literature, Rue’s death in The Hunger Games is hailed as one of the most moving. Here’s a twelve-year-old girl, dying. Here’s Katniss, sitting over Rue’s body singing and, unknowingly, inspiring a revolution. There’s a conversation—all the things they didn’t say wrapped up. The goodbye is drawn out and tear-jerk worthy.

These types of death scenes are common. Today, though, I present the other side of the coin—the sudden death.

They say fiction is like life. Sometimes in life we get the chance to say goodbye. And sometimes we don’t. Sometimes, we just find/are told we’ve lost a loved one. There are no last words. There’s no “one last time.” There is just a sudden whole where there was once a person.

It kills.

And I argue that this kind of death can be just as moving in fiction. There is no grand “I have to tell you/always remember/just know” speech, but there is a well of emotions. There is the protagonist’s inner struggle. “If I’d moved faster/if I hadn’t asked them to come/if I’d just….” There is blame, which is always something that produces tension. Even more, there is the wonder. What would that character have said if they’d gotten the chance? We’ll never know because they’re just gone, much like Sirius Black.

Note: This kind of death scene is made even worse when the protagonist doesn’t have time to mourn, when a character is killed in battle, for example.

K, I’m done being depressing now. Keep this alternative death in mind while writing, and go do something cheery.

Mary

-@desantismt on Twitter

MCS #17: Donald in Mathmagic Land

Donald in Mathmagic Land (1959)

As the title suggests, this Disney animated short is about Donald Duck learning about the history, use, and application of mathematics.

I watched this before fifth grade. So when we watched it in fifth grade and then had to write a report on it, I felt ahead of the game in that way only experienced by eleven-year-old children who have unintentionally done homework before hand. Granted, I’d only watched the movie, not written the paper, but to me, that was all academic. Literally and figuratively. I wish I still had the report. I drew the absolute worst cover for it. I decided that, since the movie was about math and various games that use math, I would draw a bunch of different games for my report cover. I had a blue and red chess board and a terrible rendition of an air hockey table. That’s all I remember.

But yeah, parents, let your kids watch this. It’s a fun and engaging way to learn about the history of math. It also features classic Donald Duck. Who doesn’t love classic Donald?

Fun fact, did you know Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy?

Less fun fact, both of my parents can do amazing Donald Duck impressions. I cannot, and I wish to know what cruel fate of genetics kept me from receiving this skill. *sigh*

Other less fun fact, my family owned a pool table when I was growing up, and I thought it was awesomely cool when Donald learned about the math involved in billiards.

But I digress. Watch the movie.

“Mathematics is the language with which God has written the universe”—Galilei Galileo

Writer’s Lockbox

Writers can do math, too. That is all.

Last week: Cinderella III

Join me next week for Dumbo.

Thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

Follow My Blog With Bloglovin

-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog

MCS #16: Cinderella III

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time (2007)

Cinderella’s stepmother gets her hand on the Fairy Godmother’s magic wand and turns back time to undo Cinderella’s happily ever after. Can Cinderella win back the prince?

K, the obvious problems of having a III without having an I aside, why couldn’t this be the first movie? This idea is made even more complicated when you take into consideration that it turns back the events of I, but really, this movie had so much going for it. Cinderella does things. She doesn’t sit around and wait for the mice and the Fairy Godmother to make her dresses. She goes to the palace and works to get the prince back. She stands up for herself. She fights. In a nut shell, she’s way more independent than she was in movie I.

So again, I ask, why couldn’t this be the first movie?

This one even had some good songs, like this one.

And this one.

Can we talk about the character growth in this song? Anastasia is a person. She changes. She’s not just the “evil for the sake of evilness” stepsister, and that’s awesome. This is the closest Disney comes (outside of Frozen) to having two equally important female characters who aren’t at odds with one another.

This movie is not without its moments. There are some wonderfully hilarious logic problems, such as when Cinderella (walking) gets to the palace twenty minutes before the carriage.

Writer’s Lockbox

Can we have more female characters like Cinderella in this movie? She wants love, yes, but she’s strong and confident about it. She doesn’t need to wear black leather. She doesn’t need to sleep around to feel like she’s being taken seriously. She’s a woman who knows what she wants, and she fights for it.

So more like her. Please and thank-you.

Last week: Cinderella II

And join me next week for Donald in Mathmagicland.

Thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

Follow My Blog With Bloglovin

-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog

Making Out Does Not make Characters Unable to be Killed, Just Sayin

Hey, folks,

I missed last Wednesday. A lot’s been going on. Good news, though. My thesis passed!!!!

Well, the happy parts of this scene, but I love the whole thing. So yeah.

And now to the meat and potatoes of today’s post. I’ve seen versions of the following scene too many times.

*Hero and heroine are running away from something stronger than them that’s trying to kill them. They stop.*
Hero: “You know, I love you semi-randomly.”
Heroine: “You know, I semi-randomly love you, too. Wanna make out?”
Hero: “Yes.”
*They make out*

Umm, hello? Your being chased by something that’s very strong and wants you dead. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?

Five ways to avoid death by random declaration of love/very intense lust

-Wait until the danger passes before having your characters admit their feelings/make out

“But having them declare love/kiss while they’re in danger is so romantic.”
It’s also bad for their lifespans and a timing problem. If whatever’s chasing them is stronger, odds are good it’s faster, too. So now hero and heroine are not only being chased, but their pursuer is gaining on them. Now, think, in real life you wouldn’t stop and start making out (or maybe you would if you figured you were dead anyway), but this is fiction. The good guys win. So if they stop to make out, you have to delay the superfast thing chasing them, which, as I said, creates timing problems. I don’t want to be left wondering what happened to the thing that was right behind them.

Also, it’s a beautiful moment when they’ve escaped and can be excited they both survived.

-Have them admit their feelings/make out before the threat shows up

This works because, well, they aren’t in danger yet. It’s also a great way to break up the romantic moment. (What, I’m the only one who enjoys torturing their characters by having the big romantic moment interrupted by a three-headed dragon? Fine then.)

-Temporarily trap the threat

This is particularly doable if either the hero or heroine has strong enough magic/access to sufficient technology to make this happen. It’s also a cool moment where you get to show off your character’s talents.

It also gives a moment for making out where I’m not wondering why they haven’t been eaten/burned to a crisp/carried off to be forcibly married to the president of the underwater basket weaving club.

-Make it a quick kiss/confession

*Stopped to catch breath (preferably somewhere where the thing chasing them has to break down a wall before getting to them)*
Hero: “So in case we die, I love you.”
Heroine: “Same here”
*quick kiss/almost kiss right as wall crashes down and then back to running*

There’s nothing wrong with this. Well, there’s nothing wrong with this providing neither dies, and since they are the hero and heroine, they most likely won’t be dying anytime soon. So we’re good. This is also very comical.

-kiss/confession on the run

Hero: *running and possibly ducking flying objects* “So in case we die, I love you.”
Heroine: “Same here.”
*air kiss*

Romance and a chase scene. Everyone’s happy.

So, authors, I am begging you. Please, no more “we’re in immediate mortal danger…let’s make out” scenes.

Find me on Twitter @desantismt.

MCS #15: Cinderella II

Cinderella II: Dreams Come True (2002)

IMDB Blurb
Jacques and Gus tell the story of how Cinderella becomes a princess but loses touch with herself.

I watched this once…on YouTube. No joke. I discovered there was a Cinderella II and was possessed by a sudden curiosity to know just what they could have done for a Cinderella II.

Remember Belle’s Tales of Friendship? Cinderella II is the Cinderella equivalent. Basically, the mice want to tell their own story. So they enlist of the Fairy Godmother and tell two stories about Cinderella learning to be a princess. The only line I remember is from Cinderella: “I think that day is today.” Don’t ask me to recall what this was in response to.

Honestly, I was disappointed. I’ve always had a lot of problems with the original Cinderella story. What kind of prince doesn’t know what the girl he danced with for three nights looks like? I would have loved for Disney to explore some deeper issues, but this was before the Tangled/Frozen era. So mice and Fairy Godmother it is.

Writer’s Lockbox

See Belle’s Tales of Friendship. I don’t remember enough of Cinderella II to pull anything from it, and the Lockbox for Tales pretty much covers it.

Last week: Cinderella

And join me next week for Cinderella III.

Thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

Follow My Blog With Bloglovin

-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog

MCS #14: Cinderella

Cinderella (1950)

IMDB blurb
When Cinderella's cruel stepmother prevents her from attending the Royal Ball, she gets some unexpected help from the lovable mice Gus and Jaq, and from her Fairy Godmother.

Oh man, where to start? Walt Disney said "She believed in dreams, all right, but she also believed in doing something about them. When Prince Charming didn’t come along, she went over to the palace and got him.”

Except she didn’t.

She kind of continued cleaning, tried on a dress made by the mice/birds, let her stepsisters tear up the dress made by the mice/birds, ran crying into the backyard, was startled by the arrival of her fairy godmother, and let said startling fairy godmother make a dress/send her to the ball.

Where in here is Cinderella doing something?

Needless to say, this wasn’t my favorite Disney movie. I actually can’t remember when last I watched it or if I even watched the entire thing.

And then there’s the sweet irony that I was cast as Cinderella’s mother when I was in Into the Woods in college.

K, now, Cinderella isn’t all bad. It had some fun songs, namely the mouse’s song. Please don’t get me started on how annoying Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo is? I won’t torture you with it.

Actually, yes, yes I will.

That’s what friends are for, right?

I’m a big fan of Cinderella retellings, especially ones where she does stuff. So to make up for that musical business earlier, I’ll supply you with some awesome Cinderella reading material.

Cinder (Lunar Chronicles, #1)
by Marissa Meyer

Goodreads blurb

Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth’s fate hinges on one girl.

Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She’s a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister’s illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai’s, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world’s future.

I actually love this entire series. They are sci-fi retellings of Cinderella, Little Red, Rapunzel, and Snow White. The last book comes out at the beginning of next year, and I’m very impatiently waiting.

“The Wrong Foot”
by Stephanie Burgis

This was published in Daily Science Fiction a while back. I loved it and then promptly read Burgis’s novel-length work. So let this be a stepping stone for you to get your glass slipper-clad foot to some great books.

Last week: The Black Cauldron

And join me next week for Cinderella II.

Thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

Follow My Blog With Bloglovin

-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog

As I write this post, I grumble about as/ing constructions.

There are other blog posts on this topic. I’m sure of it. I just feel the need to address it because as/ing constructions bug the sh*t out of me.

What’s bad about them? Nothing, if used sparingly. When overused, they present the same problem as any other craft element. Repetition is annoying.

The reason I hate them has nothing to do with their actual existence. I’ve seen them used well. It’s just that 99 times out of 100, they don’t do anything. Consider the following.

Holding my breath, I contemplated the situation.

This feels like a sword strike on my ears. Not only is nothing happening, it’s drawing attention to thought processes. In a nut shell, this sentence is stagnant. Just cut it.

The following is a bit better.

Standing tall, she entered the room.

We’re moving now, but it’s very mechanical. First I did this. Then, I did this. This could be rewritten to give more.

She straightened her spine and strode into the room.

Now we have a lot of active, well, action. Our person is doing stuff, and we’re seeing her actually straighten—stand tall. Then we replaced the not-so-showing “walk” with the much more informative strode.

As she walked into the room, she took in the painting on the wall.

Personally, I think as constructions are worse. Absolutely nothing interesting happens in this sentence.

She entered the room. A painting of a ship at sea dominated the left-hand wall.

Look at all that information!

Case and point, 99 times out of 100, there is a stronger way to phrase as/ing constructions.

Happy writing.

-See you on Twitter: @desantismt