MCS #9: Bambi

Bambi (1942)

IMDB Blurb
The story of a young deer growing up in the forest after his mother is shot by hunters.

So, that synopsis, yeah. Disney, I love you, but there’s no real plot here. I mean, even if we expand past this, the story is about a deer who makes friends, grows up, falls in love with a female deer (that’s a doe, and we’re in the money with a buck…badumpch), becomes prince of the forest, and has twins.

Despite this, this movie is indeering (see what I did there?) and extremely depressing. This brings the “mother not in the picture” to a new level. Let’s talk about murder on screen. Pardon me while I cry like a baby.

But seriously, this is a coming of age story. Bambi is forced to learn some tough life lessons very quickly. All things considered, he turns out pretty good.

Then there’s the random “black screen,” Bambi’s an adult now. Oh, and why is he so resistant to love? The girls are all over that concept. The guys aren’t. I’m seeing a gender thing here. 

When all else fails, this movie has it all—love, marriage, and a skunk named Flower. What more do you need?

That’s what I thought.

Writer’s Lockbox

I’d like to take this opportunity to reiterate my point about having a plot.

Have a plot.

Thank you.

Carry on.

Last week: Atlantis, which I’m watching the Lego version of as I write this post

Join me next week for Beauty and the Beast

Thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

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-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog

Who put the "book" in the book, book, book review?

Answer: Someone who knew what they were doing

Yes, they are in fact called “book reviews” for a reason. They are supposed to be reviews of books.

Say it with me: “Of books.”

What are they not reviews of?

Authors

Talking about fiction here.

This whole “book review = review of a book” thing seems like a no-brainer, but too often I read reviews where people criticize the author’s intelligence. While not every tiny thing about a fiction work may be factually correct as determined on Earth under our living conditions, here’s the thing. It’s fiction. Yes, common facts should be correct. Authors need to do their research, but if they change something to fit their fictional world, that’s their choice. This does not make them stupid. In the case of speculative fiction (science fiction, fantasy, horror) this might make a world.

Regardless, however, there is no place for “this author is an idiot” in a book review. That is called attacking, and that is not the point of reviews. If you’re going to review a book, review the damn book. Don’t spend 200 words going on about how stupid the author is. All that does is make you look dumb, jealous, or both. Then you lose your credibility as a reviewer (because no one likes a complainer), and no one feels bad for your loss of credibility. After all, you’re the idiot who decided to attack people where it wasn’t called for.

“But the author messed up. What am I supposed to say?”

Try these alternatives to “this author is clearly a moron.”

-I’m wondering if this part of the book was researched enough.
-I couldn’t get into the story because there were a lot of small details that bugged me.
-The world building/characters/whatever could have been tightened.

“But these don’t let me get out my massive amounts of anger about the author getting stuff wrong.”

Really? Then I suggest you seriously reevaluate why you are reviewing and possibly see an anger management specialist.

So, reviewers, be nice, and as much as it pains me to say this, authors, pay attention to your manuscripts. Being called stupid, an idiot, a moron, or any other name in a review is never justifiable. Period. On that note, though, readers aren’t stupid either. They notice things. Someone once described reading as reader and author entering into an unspoken contract to appreciate one story. Readers know when that contract is broken, and they do not react well. So next week, I’m going to work on unraveling what brings reviewers to the place where they feel the need to call an author stupid.

As always, thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

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-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog

MCS #8: Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)

IMDB BLURB A young adventurer named Milo Thatch joins an intrepid group of explorers to find the mysterious lost continent of Atlantis.

As of yesterday afternoon, I’d seen this movie once…in college…five years ago…while in the company of a friend and his extremely recent x-girlfriend who he was trying (rather unsuccessfully) to get back with.

As a result, I watched it again with a friend last night. Post second viewing, I felt much more prepared to discuss the film, considering pre-second viewing I remembered roughly almost nothing.

So anyway.

Milo + Kidammanoganosh…or however you say that. I like Milo’s nickname idea, so I’ll stick with Kida. They’re cute. Well, they’re cute later. At first, they’re kind of grr face at each other, but it’s grr face in a cute way?

Also, how did he hold his breath for that long?

Voices. David Ogden Stiers makes a cameo appearance as Mr. Harcourt. Wondering who that is? He’s the guy who’s been in more Disney movies than you probably realize, including Beauty and the Beast, Pocahontas, and The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Speaking of names, this is a character in the movie, not an actor, but…Thaddeus Thatch?

Do parents realize what they do to their kids?

K, before I get to the end, I need to mention Atlantis II quickly. It, um, well, it was confusing. I offer the following conversation as proof. My friend and I tried to watch it last summer. Fifteen minutes in, the following exchange occurred.

Her: “Do you know what’s going on?”
Me: “No. You?”
Her: “No. Wanna watch something else?”
Me: “Sure.”
Her: *turns off movie*

I rest my case.

Writer’s Lockbox

While this movie is extremely fun, the beginning, specifically Milo’s “opportunity” in the form of Helga is very convenient. It works in a short kid's film like this, but writers, take note. Don’t just throw a convenient catalyst in the path of your protagonist. Make your characters work.

Also, don’t kill off roughly 180 people, making throw-away characters out of them. But I digress.

Last week: Aristocats

And join me next week for the beginning of the Bs, Bambi.

Thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

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-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog

Manuscripts have claws, and they hurt!

Good Wednesday,

At least I think it’s good, and I think it’s Wednesday. I’m doing a full read-through of my thesis, and my brain’s a little fried.

Ok, it’s a lot fried.

Hence the lack of cute smiley pictures this week.

A few days ago I put the following post to my fellow SHUers:

K, I've gotten to the point with my thesis where I'm questioning every word choice, every sentence structure, every punctuation placement. "I didn't describe enough. I described too much. This paragraph needs to be over there." Someone please tell me this is normal before I pull my hair out.

I received a ton of “this is normal” responses, which made me feel better. I also received a handful of “take a break” responses and even one or two “you’re done” responses.

Well, I’m not done, but I learned a lesson. I’m the first to tell people who are freaking about the little things to move on and not get stuck. Yet, chapter 15 dug its claws into me the other day and wouldn’t let go.

So, I guess I learned two valuable lessons this week.

First, the little stuff really will drive you crazy, and the best course of action is to step away from that section/the entire project. I forced myself not to look at chapter 15 anymore, and I’m now feeling much better.

Second, practice what you preach. “Hey everyone, chill about the small stuff!” *freaks about the small stuff*

I feel like a horrible person now.

*sigh*

Anyway, still slaving around over here. Can’t wait till I pass it in and can breathe easier.

10-4, Pegasus out.

-Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

MCS #7: The Aristocats

The Aristocats (1970)

IMDB BLURB
With the help of a smooth talking tomcat, a family of Parisian felines set to inherit a fortune from their owner try to make it back home after a jealous butler kidnaps them and leaves them in the country.

Where to start? I loved the cats playing the piano. I love the title—the pun on aristocrats. 10 points for creativity, Disney.

Now (because I have to point out voice actors) bet you didn’t know that Thomas O’Malley was the same actor as Baloo from The Jungle Book.

Oh, you did know that?

Anyway, I have a great little story that’s related to this movie. Back in 2012, I lived in a hotel for a couple of months. I was in the process of moving states with my parents (because moving out while in grad school is a bad idea). The hotel we stayed in had a cat named Sylvester, and every morning on the way to breakfast, my father would stop at the door that led to the outdoor pool and sitting area and sing Thomas O’Malley’s song, substituting the ending for “Sylvester the hotel cat.”

Except my father isn’t great with remembering lyrics, so it went more like “Abraham DeLacey (repeat that line) *grumble, grumble* Sylvester the hotel cat.”

Actually, it was kind of adorable because, well, my family is adorable.

[Side Note: Keep watching the video after the song ends. It’s worth it.]

Now, we can’t talk about Aristocats without mentioning this cutie.

Also, I just wanted an excuse to use this picture. But really, Marie is awesome. She’s totally got her brothers wrapped around her little finger (toe? Paw?). Oh well, ladies ftw!

Writer’s Lockbox

Siblings have a unique dynamic. My thesis novel features a lot of siblings. My main character is a twin, and I originally had her feuding with her brother. After several people informed me “the feud isn’t working” I dropped it, and the story works much better now. I didn’t overbalance in the other direction, though. They aren’t the Wonder Twins now, which I like because the “twins destined to save the world” thing is kind of overdone.

But anyway, I digress. The point of this Writer’s Lockbox is to make siblings realistic. Boys and girls often fight at younger ages. Either that or they are best buddies. Girls are either bffs or hate each other, and boys usually are all right unless they sense favoritism from a parent. If everything’s cool, they’re like “dude, video games?” “Yeah.” That is until one gets too old for being seen with the other to be “cool.”

This is just my take. I am an only child and have had people tell me what it’s like to have siblings. Any other sibling insights out there? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.

Last week: Alice in Wonderland

And join me next week for the last of the Disney A’s, Atlantis: The Lost Empire.

-Find me on Twitter @desantismt

P.S. Beware. That is all.

Possibly the Most Ridiculous Argument for Succinct Writing Ever...with Math! (sorry)

Good Wednesday,

First, a post about writing. Then an exciting announcement.

POST ABOUT WRITING

Let’s talk about word count and unnecessary phrasing.

But before we do that, let me apologize for frightening you with the word “math” in the title.

Then let me say that there is actually going to be math.

You’ll live.

So words. More often than I care to admit, the following phrases come up in books I read. I sometimes pause and stare at them in wonder because “why did the author choose to write it this way?”

Shrugged his shoulders
Blinked her eyes
Nodded his head
Clapped her hands

Aside from making editors/publishers/agents cringe, these phrases monopolize on “too-many-word syndrome” (n.) the state of having too many words, and “unnecessary explanation syndrome” (n.) the state of over explaining obviousness. What part of the body does one blink other than eyes? Shrug other than shoulders? You get the idea, and if a different body part performs these actions, that is out-of-the-ordinary and, thus, necessitates explanation.

It’s “too-many-words syndrome” I want to focus on in today’s post. This is where the math comes in (sorry again…or maybe not). Let’s take the four three-word phrases above. Using basic multiplication, I calculate that 3x54=12.

Now, we don’t need the modifiers/explanatory words: his shoulders, her eyes, his head, her hands. That’s 2 words from each phrase that we don’t need. 2x4=8. 12-8=4. So what was originally said in 12 words can be said in 4.

This doesn’t seem like much, but put it into the context of a 90k word manuscript. How many times do characters shrug/nod/clap/blink/do similar 3-word phrases in that time? Odds are, quite a few. In fact, let’s say characters perform such three-word actions 500 times in a manuscript.

***WARNING***

The math is about to get more difficult.

***THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION***

K, 500 three-word phrases.

500 x 3 = 1500

So that’s 1500 words.

Now, 2 words from each of those three-word phrases aren't needed.

500 x 2 = 1000

1500 – 1000 = 500

Yes, by writing “he nodded” instead of “he nodded his head,” “she shrugged” instead of “she shrugged her shoulders,” etc. 1000 words were cut.

1000

That could mean the difference between being able to submit to a given house/contest or not.

“Mary, no publisher/agent is going to glare at a project that’s 1000 words over their limit.”

They might. It’s unlikely, but if this argument isn’t doing it, here’s another.

That’s 1000 words that can be used to describe something else. The standard chapter size is between 3000 and 4000 words. We’re talking a third or fourth of a chapter here. That’s a lot of space. Trust me, I check my word count while I’m writing chapters, and I often think to myself “This one is at about 2500. 1000 words is plenty of space to finish what needs to happen.”

Every word counts.

And see? That math wasn’t too painful.

EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT!

Back in January, I submitted to OddContest, the flash fiction contest associated with Odyssey Con. They received 71 stories. While I did not win first, second, or third, I placed in the top 10. I’m officially an Odd Contest finalist, and my name is on the website!

See, look!!!

That’s my name…on that list….

-Find me on Twitter @desantismt.

MCS #6: Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland (1951)

Alice follows the White Rabbit to Wonderland. Can she get home before the Queen of Hearts takes her head off?

I have not seen this in about fifteen years, so this will be interesting. Alice in Wonderland fell into the “earlier Disney” category that I couldn’t get into as much. I owned it on VHS (you know, back in the Stone Age), but I never bought it on DVD and probably won’t. Such is life.

I haven’t even gotten around to reading the original story. It was never required reading, and I’ve been trying to focus on current pop fiction since starting grad school. I want to stay abreast of the market and such, but I will read it.

So the movie. K, Cheshire Cat disappearing? Did anyone ever see the Peanuts episode where Snoopy did that?

Hee

Favorite song. I always thought “Painting the Roses Red” was hilarious. The thought of a bunch of playing cards painting roses to pacify their queen just cracks me up. Let’s watch.

Nice harmonies, boys.

Also, March of the Cards—seven dwarves, anyone?

And really, I felt so bad for the King of Hearts in this movie.

Well, that about wraps it up. I don’t have much more to say. So let’s leave off with a riddle, shall we?

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Writer’s Lockbox

Don’t plant white roses by accident.

Right, sorry.

Umm, k, this might be a stretch. But when writing the weird, make sure the weird makes sense. Wonderland is a place where things are strange, but they obey the laws of strange. And so too must strong fiction.

Look at me pulling that out of my a$$ after not seeing this movie in years.

Last week: Aladdin and the King of Thieves

And join me next week for The Aristocats

Thanks for reading.

Mary
@desantismt on Twitter

Follow My Blog With Bloglovin

-Kit ‘N Kabookle
My book blog