Five Things Not to Title Your Novel

Hello,

As promised on Monday, I’m back with a more realistic post.

All right, it’s realistic, but it’s still more on the light-hearted side. The categories are serious. The explanations…I had a little fun with those.

Here goes.

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Five Things Not to Title Your Novel

The old adage reads “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Should be true, but I know I do occasionally, and I’m guessing I’m not the only one. So here’s my two cents and five categories of titles not to give your work in progress.

-Anything in the style of “The (insert profession) (insert family member status)

In all seriousness, there’s an abundance of “So-and-so’s daughter/son” novels out there. The trend has been done to death. So unless you're going to entitle your book “The Pumpkin Carver’s Third Cousin Twice Removed on his Father’s Side,” don’t bother.

-A catchy single word

I’m talking about a word like “Dreams.” While it may sum up the book, there’s a ton of books out there with the single word “Dreams” as their title. Not the best way to stand out, in my opinion. (NOTE: This principle also applies when “a/an” or “the” is placed before the single catchy word.)

-The (insert type here) Night/Day

Like the family member category above, these titles are overused. Insert day or night into the thesaurus. It will help your book stand out if it says “The Brightest Diurn.”

-Vampire anything

K, this might just be my dislike of all things sexy vampire. See my rant here. But in all seriousness, “Vampire Hunter/School/Night/etc.” are getting old.

-Something that’s completely unrelated to the book’s contents

This sounds like a no-brainer, but you wouldn’t believe how many books I’ve finished only to think “That title had nothing to do with anything.”

Thank you for reading, and I’d like to invite you back for next Wednesday’s post. It’s going to be all about that urban fantasy I’ve written.

For Hanukkah

Evening,

I hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was crazy, and, as a result, today’s post is severely lacking in media and/or analysis.

It is, however, the sharing of a YouTube video.

In honor of Hanukkah, I give you Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song.

Enjoy, pass it along, and have a good night.

I shall return with a real post on Wednesday.

See you out of the box,
Caboodle

Mini Book Survey

Good Friday,

One of my Facebook friends posted the following mini-survey as their status. I stole it and made it today’s blog post.

Feel free to steal it from me and/or share your answers to any of these questions as comments.

-One book that changed your life?

“Ready Player One” – Ernest Cline
I can’t even go into it all. I just finished the book and felt changed, somehow. Read it. It comes highly recommended from me.

-One book that you’ve read more than once

“Darkfever” – Karen Marie Moning
Powerful yet fun.

-One book you would want on a desert island?

“The Hunger Games” – Suzanne Collins
It might give me some tips for survival (“kill anyone you come across” not included).

-One book that made you laugh?

“The Lightning Thief” – Rick Riordan
Percy Jackson reminds me so much of a younger version of one of my closest friends. Said friend is hilarious.

-One book that made you cry?

Actually, “Breaking Dawn” – Stephenie Meyer—not for the reason you’re thinking.
I cried because I was going through a tough time, and Bella’s behavior toward Jacob—essentially tossing him aside as if he’d never meant anything to her when all he ever did was be there when she needed him the most—made me so mad that I actually drudged up tears.

-One book you wish had been written?

As a writer, this one is tough because I could, theoretically, write the book in my answer. That said, I always wondered what happened to Ariel’s sisters in Disney’s “The Little Mermaid.”

-One book you wish had never been written?

I can’t say that I wish any books had never been written. Even books that I have no love for have influenced society somehow.

-One book you are currently reading?

“Fated” - Alyson Noel
It’s the common reading for my Jan residency at Seton Hill. Just started it. Not sure how this is going to go. Keeping my fingers crossed.

What book have you been meaning to read?

“Cold Days” - Jim Butcher
It just came out. Need to get on that.

Results--Goodreads 2012

Hey folks,

It’s been a very long day. The Christmas season is in full swing, and I’ve got a lot going on. So tonight’s post will be very short indeed.

The results of the Goodreads 2012 Choice Awards are up.

I’ll say that only two of the books I voted for won.

“The Mark of Athena” by Rick Riordan
I recommend his “Percy Jackson and the Olympians” and “Heroes of Olympus” series. They’re on the young adult side of things, but fun reads.

“The Casual Vacancy” by J.K. Rowling

Otherwise, congrats to the other winners, even though I didn’t agree with some of them.

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Wednesday Word Tally

The synopsis is killing me slowly. Lol.

Book Review: HOLD ME CLOSER, NECROMANCER by Lish Mcbride

Title: “Hold me Closer, Necromancer
Author: Lish Mcbride
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co – 2010
Genre: young adult fantasy

Amazon|B&N|Goodreads

Sam’s life is pretty normal. That is until he discovers he’s a necromancer and attracts the attention of Douglas, a necromancer who does inhumane experiments on humans and supernatural creatures. Douglas wants to join forces with Sam. Sam’s not interested, but Douglas isn’t giving him much of a choice. With only a week to save himself, Sam enlists the help of Seattle’s supernatural community.

Even though this book is about necromancers, it isn’t swimming with graphic death scenes. Quite the contrary, the humor is laugh-out-loud funny. Just when I started to get terrified, something funny would happen to diffuse the tension, and I was back to laughing. The point of view in this story shifts back and forth between the first-person Sam and a few third-person characters. In some cases, this kind of switch can be jarring, but it was handled well here. The secondary points of view really brought this novel into the realm of young adult literature. Sam is a bit squeamish. So, showing some of the more gruesome scenes from his perspective may not have worked well for the story. That said, it was really nice to see a protagonist who openly admitted to not being brave. There are so many kick-ass, not-afraid-of-anything heroes in this genre. Reading about one who was both scared and squeamish was truly refreshing.

Presents!

Good Friday,

It’s the last day of Nanowrimo. As I said on Wednesday, I failed. Lol.

The truth is it hit me at a bad time. I was done with the writing of my WiP and onto the editing. And then that final paper for class tried to kill me. My final count for Nano was around 20k.

To those who finished, great job!!!

To those who didn’t, if at first you don’t succeed…. You know the rest.

Here’s to next year!

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In honor of Nano, here’s a bit of rejected material from the urban fantasy.

Vern (the half dryad) walks back into her office to find Hanson (the womanizing warlock) sitting at her desk. Reminder: Vern believes Crys (the fairy) hates her guts.

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I drew up short in the doorway to my office.

“Afternoon,” Hanson said from where he perched in my chair.

“You have a thing about sitting there, don’t you?”

The warlock stood and stretched. “Only when I’m looking to talk to you.”

I leaned against the wall. “Should I get comfortable?”

“Nah.” He crossed the room and tapped the top of my head. “This is just a quicky.”

“I bet you say that a lot.”

“Sometimes,” Hanson said without so much as a flinch. “In any event, I just came down to tell you not to go near Crys’s lab.”

I snorted. “You don’t have to tell me that, trust me.”

“I know, but I was just there and she was in a worse mood than normal.”

“Seriously?”

“Complete with angry fluttering and a threat to roast me alive.”

“She needs anger management,” I said.

“True story,” Hanson said. “She’s a big bully. Or, actually, considering she’s a few inches shorter than you while hovering, I’d say she’s a small bully.”

“Oh God, don’t tell her that.” I shivered at the thought of my fate if those words got back to the fairy. I’d be better than dead.

“No worries.” Hanson winked. “You’re not the only one with a sense of self-preservation.”
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Last thing before I sign off for the weekend. Join me on my Facebook author page and/or my Twitter for “The 25 Funny Days of Christmas.” Starting tomorrow and going until Christmas Day, I’ll be posting a different funny Christmas song or parody of a carol with a double feature on December 25.

A Concise Guide to the Genre Fiction Writers Choir

Good Wednesday,

Aside from writing, I’ve spent a good amount of my life in the performing arena. Most notably, I was a member of the 2007 MENC All Eastern Mixed Choir. That choir was epic.

So I guess that would classify me as a choir nerd. If the shoe fits, then I am a choir nerd and proud of it.

In my surfing of the internet, I’ve come across many a choir joke. One of the most involved is A Concise Guide to the Choir. This is a humorous explanation of the four main voice parts in a choir:

Soprano – high female part
Alto – low female part
Tenor – high male part
Bass – low male part

How does this relate to writing? As of right now, it doesn’t. I’m about to change that. It has occurred to me that each genre resembles one of the voice parts in a choir.

Soprano – Fantasy/Science Fiction
Alto – Romance
Tenor – Mystery
Bass – Horror

And so, without further ado, I present “A Concise Guide to the Genre Fiction Writers Choir.”

***NOTE*** No offense to writers of any genre. This is purely for fun.

-Science Fiction/Fantasy (Sopranos)

According to the choir guide, sopranos basically think they rule the world. (Well, they do. The fact that I am a soprano who writes mainly fantasy has nothing to do with this….)

SF/F writers tend to harbor the belief that they rule the world. More accurately, they rule a world that they have created. How this translates to them ruling the real world is still unknown.

There is a feeling of dominance that comes with being “God” in their own world: “Real worldians, kneel before me. The fantastic deaths that my characters have suffered in my made-up world are far worse than anything this puny real thing could possibly inflict upon you.” The authors forget that, while their wicked forms of death and torture are extraordinary, they are completely inaccessible on this side of their imaginary world line. This does not stop them from believing that they are better than the other genres. After all, “We have to create everything. You people have a setting and pre-established species (human) rules. What do you have to do?”

Not surprisingly, this creates a lot of animosity in the other genres toward SF/F. The SF/F writers weather this, always siting that they have to do more work. The exception to this is the horror writers. SF/F writers don’t mind the horror guys because they understand torturing your characters in new/as of yet undiscovered ways.

Q: How many fantasy writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: “A what?” *Urban fantasy guy in the back raises his hand*
A2: One, he flicks his wrist and the light bulb screws itself in.

Q: How many Science Fiction writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five, one to figure out the ancient technology that is the light bulb and four more to stand around looking confused.

-Romance (Altos)

According to the choir guide, altos are unassuming. Romance writers are much the same. They are comfortable in the knowledge that they are creating something that all people can relate to (the flourishing of relationships). They know readers will always want their books, and they believe (much like altos) that the SF/F authors (sopranos) could take a hike and the industry wouldn’t suffer for it. “Why the pitfalls of death before the couple gets their happily ever after? That’s just mean.”

Also like altos, romance writers know that the other three genres view their genre as “pitifully easy to write. Anyone could do that.” The romance writers know otherwise. They silently dare the SF/F, horror, and mystery guys to write a romance novel. “Oh, and it has to be a good romance novel. None of this 50 Shades crap.”

Romance writers feel an unspoken bond toward mystery writers—the only other genre that typically remains grounded on Earth. They avoid those SF/F “jerks” as much as possible and dart nervous glances at the horror writers. “Did you hear what that guy did to his characters? *shudder*”

Q: How many romance writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One—their self-sufficient.

-Mystery )Tenors)

According to the choir guide, tenors are spoiled. “But wouldn’t that make them SF/F?” I said “spoiled,” not “full of themselves.”

But that’s not really where mystery writers resemble tenors. As may be obvious, mystery writers are, well, shrouded in mystery. They’d rather sell their souls then unload their precious plotting details, much the same way that choir directors feel about tenors). Tenors also have a tendency to keep a lot of secrets (aka, if their part is too high, they will make up any excuse rather than say the part is too high).

Mystery writers don’t really have much use for either SF/F or horror writers. Those weirdos live in their own worlds anyway. They reciprocate the unspoken bond that the romance writers feel toward them. “We need to stick together in the face of those speculative nuts.”

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five, one to screw in the light bulb and four more to stand around concocting theories about the light bulbs use in a murder.

-Horror (Bass)

According to the choir guide, basses are solid and dependable. Ever heard the old adage “keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer?” Horror writers will come off as solid and dependable because they want you around. Why? Well if you leave, who are they going to freak out or use to plan terrifying scenes for their next novel?

Basses are often referred to as the “real men” of the choir. “Real men” (supposedly) like things such as darkness and are never afraid. Hey, horror writers are never afraid. “There’s nothing scarier in real life than what I wrote about last night—by candle light—after the midnight sacrifice meeting I went to.”

Possibly the reason horror writers write horror is an innate sense of being under appreciated. They feel (possibly even fear) that the other genres have it all over them in the sales department because readers get freaked out by the horror section. This explains quite a bit actually. Horror writers compensate for feeling under appreciated by leaning on the proverbial genre horn, so to speak. They produce the most reaction-inducing content of any genre to make themselves feel as though they are standing out.

Horror writers understand the plight of the SF/F writers. They too, if for different reasons, know how it feels to have the other genres avoid them like the plague. Horror writers have a secret, deep-seeded respect for mystery writers. “Anyone who puts their characters through that much strife can’t be all bad.” As far as romance writers are concerned, they are in another universe that the horror writers don’t get at all. Why would anyone want to let their characters end up happily together at the end? For the rare horror writer who does let his/her characters get together, the question morphs into “why would anyone let their characters end up together so easily? Where is the murderer? The chainsaws? The zombies wielding an incurable virus that will turn the humans into mindless drones that just want BRAAAIIINS!?”

Q: How many horror writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Why would you want to turn the lights on?

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Wednesday Word Tally

The urban fantasy basically stalled this past week. My final paper for my SF/F class ate my life (told you those genres hogged the spotlight). I got a bit done, and I’m back on target this week.

Current word count: 97,201

-Nanowrimo

Dead. Lol. Here’s to actually having a full-length project for November next year.

Although, I just did the math. Last month, I wrote 52,625 words on the urban fantasy. I did Nano a month early. I’m satisfied with that.